Thursday, February 17, 2011

I am not a good person. My stomach turns everytime I hear the door from the garage open. My husband is coming in. No he is not abusive but his needs make me cranky. It's not his fault - that's why I am not a good person. Even as I write this I feel SO guilty-like the marriage police is going to come busting through the front door and take me away for even dare thinking such terrible thoughts. Because of his illness he NEEDS me to help him with just about everything and I feel used and overextended, but that's not right. I should be compassionate and caring. I am one of those people who believe we pretty much reap what we sow. So I try my hardest to be nice and accommodating, but I know my attitude just stinks most of the time.

If I eat something he eats the same thing, if I being home snacks or sweets he eats them before I can. The thing is he didn't used to be this way, now I think he just can't think for himself so he follows me, but it's annoying.