Well here I am again and it hasn't even been a year! Excuse my moanings again, I know most people would rather read about happy, life is wonderful, hubby is perfect, kids are angels, type of blog, but I'm not there - right now this is my real life and I'm not afraid to talk about it.
Things seem to be happening faster these days-or could it be I'm getting older and I'm just not moving or thinking as fast as the world seems to be going? No that can't be it..I'm not that old.
This week has held more exciting or depressing events, depending on if you are a half-glass full or empty kind of person. Most of my life I have been the half-glass full kind of peson, but I have allowed myself to slip into the half-glass empty type.
I know better, but sometimes you just sink so far below the surface of life that you forgot who you are or how to have any joy. That's what has happened to me. I have let life strangle the joy out of me. I know we can have joy to matter what our circumstances - I don't necessary mean the kind of joy you feel when a new baby is born into the family or the excitement you feel when getting that gift for Christmas that you never thought in a million years you would get because you didn't tell anyone because you didn't think you deserved it - no I mean the kind of joy that comes from an inner peace.
A joy that comes from knowing that somehow, someway, all things work together for our good. The peace that takes you to another level, up above the craziness of everyday living. I think you can stay there if you try to remember one thing, have an "attitude of gratitude". (I'm sure that saying originated from someone else but I don't know who to acredit it to and I'm on a roll here so I'm not going to stop and check it out!)
My daughter, my beautiful daughter, got very sick this past week. She is a handful on a good day, always taking on much more than one person should, (and I wonder where she got that from?) and now she is very sick. The doctors know she has some kind of bacterial infection, but so far none of the meds she has been given have helped. She can hardly swallow, everything she eats comes right back up. She has lost too much weight and her hair seems to be falling out more than the usual daily amount we all find in our brush.
Our boys found my husband who has some health problems along with mild demensia, laying face down on the front porch while I was at work the other day - no he didn't have a stroke or anything, just somehow fell out of his chair on the porch. We have no idea how and he doesn't either. After we got him settled inside the house and on the couch, I went back to work only to be called a little later by my daughter screaming she was passing out and needed help! I quickly left work again and when I got home found out she was yelling so loudly, the neighbors behind us that we don't know, came running over to see what was the matter. They came inside the house and tried to talk to my husband whom they encountered first - he was still rummy from whatever happened to him earlier and just stared at them blankly and walked away, never wondering why there were strangers in our house nor comprenhending what they were saying. They checked on our daughter and called to get her some assistance from other family members until I could get there and I'm sure went home shaking their heads wondering who we are and how do we exist without handlers!
A-a-a let's see - now where did I put that inner peace? hmmm...